30th January 2016

Hi ,

WINNER WINNER 14/1 CHICKEN DINNER

Hello, Good Morning and Welcome.

A Few winners during the week including a 5/1, 5/2, 9/4, 9/4 and a 14/1 Winner at Meydan.

The 14/1 was Jungle Cat in the 16 runner handicap. If you had suggested to me on Wednesday that I was going to put up a horse in a big handicap like that, in the Desert that had not run for 223 days, I would have ordered you a Rubber Room at Rampton and a security vest with extra Velcro. However, if you check the blog on my website chrisanzani.com and Twitter @chrisanzani -you will see that I made a good paddock note for the horse at The Craven. This was a Group Two horse that had really thrived between two and three years of age and was heading for the top. He then ran a cracker against Adaay at Newbury before going crock at Royal Ascot. Although he had top jock William Buick on board I wasn’t sure if it was fancied so I rang someone I know who works in one of the big Trade Rooms. He told me there hadn’t been a farthing for it and all the money was for the favourite – Divine. Thinking it would drift I put it up at Betfair SP, hence the price quoted. My mate asked why I only went 1 Point Win. I replied ‘What would you prefer, 2 Pts at 11/2 (6/1BOG) or 1 Pt 14/1bfsp?' To think this guy has a degree in Maths, and the Boys in the Benefits Office can still work out a Lucky 15 faster!!

By the way I think Jungle Cat will improve again and could be a Contender against the big guns in the Group races coming up at Meydan. The only bit of bad luck was on Saturday when the Vet reported that our maximum bet - Pictograph lost a shoe. He was never running and with a full set of Scoobys I am sure he would have won. A difference of 12.5 Pts on our second day in. Ouch!!!

Other than that a bit quiet and there were the odd days last week when I was like a Chicken in the Farmyard looking for the odd peck of corn. Don’t worry; come next July with 40 Meetings a week and evening racing we will be running round like Headless Chickens trying to Get a Price.

I have only put up one bet for Cheltenham and that’s Up For Review for the Albert Bartlett. Was there anyone on this Planet that was not impressed by his win at Punchestown on New Years Eve? The only person that was, had forgot to reset the timer when the Clocks went back and recorded the wrong race!! I must admit I have done the same myself. One time I missed a winner and the Mrs heard me. ‘You fool, don’t you get anything right?’ she said. ‘Well I am still right for 6 Months of the Year’ I replied a bit too cleverly. ’Sit down, I will get you a cup of tea’ she says. ‘That’s very kind of you’ I meekly whispered. ‘It’s not kind, it’s just I don’t trust you to do anything’. I couldn’t argue. ‘Is there a chance of a chocolate biscuit’ I asked humbly. Well, you just have to push your luck while it’s in!!!

Up For Review was poetry. If there is Music in Movement then the son of Presenting is Tempo, Pitch and Cadence to perfection. He will really come into his own when he goes Chasing soon. Next year - The RSA and The Gold Cup the following season. I am going to follow this horse off a cliff and when he goes for the Big One and jumps off the Edge of the World I will be there, sending a prayer heaven bound hoping he makes it safely to the other side.

Speaking of the Albert Bartlett if you had a potato for every time you heard the name between now and Cheltenham Friday you would have enough for the biggest Chip Shop in the World. Even Harry Ramsden wouldn’t get a look in.

You can just imagine. You upset the Local Mafia by nicking their price at the nearby Corals. The Mob corner you. ‘But Don Vito all they would lay me was Twelve Tenners’ you squeal. ‘I don’t care, buy yourself a Wet Suit. Tonight you sleep wid da fishes.’

You get on the Witness Protection Programme faster than a price going on Oddschecker and ask to be sent somewhere out of the vicinity. They take you on your word and despatch you to the outer realms of Patagonia and book you in at a barely standing Ramshackle Hotel where they have no Mobiles or Internet and have never heard of IPads or Wifi. You approach the Reception and are asked to sign the Book. You enter your new identity – Albert Bartlett. The Padrone looks up and cries “Senor Bartlett!! You come, You have Best Room in House, You meet my Daughter. Look I have Ante Post ticket for Up For Review”. ‘How do you manage to get on in this Outpost’ you ask. The Padrone explains that they used to have Pigeon Post but now use the express Condor service to the Bookies in Buenos Aires. ‘You send them ticket and they send you Ready Money attached to Condor Leg’ he explains. ‘And how old is your daughter’ you enquire. ‘Just turned eighteen last week.’ Just turned eighteen and Readies by Return?? Hmm, you think to yourself – Things is definitely IMPROVING!!!!

Cheltenham goes back a lot further than most people think. When the Soothsayer said to Julius Caesar “Beware the Ides of March” Caesar was heard to reply ‘Ides of March? Isn’t that the 15th? Can you do me a favour and leave it till after Cheltenham.’

After the Rumble in Rome JC approaches the Pearly Gates and is asked “Julius. How did you do at The Festival” He says ‘St Peter, you would Not believe it. I did my Absolutes. I followed Pricewise to the bottom all week – no good. By the time they finally found a winner I was out of wonga. I prayed to the Gods – Nothing. I got the Bookies putting the knife in all the while and then there’s the Sort Out at The Senate when I get back. I had such a lousy time at Cheltenham I was almost relieved when Brutus finally put the blade in.

St Peter takes pity and fetches Caesar a drink. Caesar asks” So what do I do for a winner. I don’t want to be a Tapped Out Tom in Heaven forever. Can I ask what do you boys do?” ‘Easy says St Peter. We all follow Chris Anzani Racing. Weekly Profits and the Occasional Spectacular. The Angels got a Special Subscription for Eternity’. Old Julius muses to himself. If only he could get a few quid he might have enough to get tooled up for a rematch with the Blaggard Brutus. “Do you think I might win enough to get a new dagger” he asks St Peter. ‘You will have enough for a couple of Tanks to blow the Bounder to the Back of Beyond. Him and his Blousy Buddies.’ Caesar groans to himself – if only he had known about this Service before, he might have saved The Roman Empire!! ‘Ere, St Peter. How much are those Subs, again??

Last Week I mentioned that if our 1,700/1 Epsom Ante Post Double cops we might be off to Acapulco. Any way I start dreaming. After a First Class Flight I book in at the only 6 Star Hotel at the resort. I head straight for the poolside, relax on the recliner and order a Strawberry Daiquiri with extra crushed ice. As I look around I can’t help but notice a bevy of gorgeous babes with golden tans and just fitting bikinis. As the waiter arrives with my drink I see a couple of girls nearby giggling, talking to each other and looking in my direction. One approaches me and asks me if I am the guy who copped the Epsom Double. Staring at her fabulous thrupenny bits I proudly confirm and she asks if I can rub some sun tan lotion on her back. She says ‘By there, by there, and oh! also round by here, and later this afternoon can I ask if you can shower with me to help wash it off before we have a lie down’ - BOING!!!!

Then suddenly the bestest ever dream turns to my worst nightmare. I am gripped motionless – paralysed with an icy fear. The Ante Post Vouchers. I have lost the Ante Post Slips. Oh No. They have gone for good. What am I to do?? I wake up in the coldest of cold sweats. Fearing the worst I move my clammy hand to the pillow and reach underneath. I feel the rustle of paper. My Mrs asks what’s up. ‘Nothing dear I just had a bad dream’. Not wanting to turn the light on and wake her up fully, I move nimbly to the bathroom and blurrily view the slips. I see the numbers 66/1 and 33/1 and relieved beyond belief I rest myself against the radiator. PHEW!! I take a couple of deep breaths to recover.

On my way back I reach to the second cabinet and find a bottle of sun tan lotion from my last holiday. As I put the vouchers safely back under the pillow and rest my head, I cradle the lotion and think to myself ‘Now, Let’s Get Back To That Dream!!!!'

Be Lucky and may The Gambling Gods be with you.

Back next Saturday.

Chris Anzani Racing

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